The Toliet Paper 

To my friend who can’t ever seem to replace the toliet paper in its assigned location. It is just as bad as smokers who throw their butts on the ground when there is an ashtray two feet away from them. 

I find this extremely annoying. If you’re in my bathroom taking a shit, (which I know my friend was at this moment in time) then you have more than enough time to replace the roll. 

I’m not even one of those snobs that cares which way the roll goes on. All I care about it that it’s on there. Locked, loaded and ready to roll for the next bowel movement or emptying of the bladder. We aren’t living in a fraternity house so let’s put the damn toliet paper on the roll! 

Yes I realize that I just made an entire blog post over toliet paper. I feel as though this is just and extremely passive aggressive but I’m doing it anyway. I can’t be the only person out there that this drives them banana sandwich.

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Side note: has anyone else had the luxury of using toliet paper that doesn’t have the cardboard rolls inside of them? The company I work for decided that they were going to go “green” in this area. This is the same company that will send out an oversized shipping box for one small item. But by all means, you take that cardboard out of the roll if that helps you sleep at night. 

What I always wonder is why it says “DO NOT DROP” on the outside packaging. I assume that they would all fall apart since there is nothing structurly sound to hold them up. I have to resist the urge every time I’m in my work bathroom not to pick that package up and slam it on the ground. I need to know! One of these days I’ll have no choice but surrender and do it. 

We recently had to have one of our toliet paper roll holders replaced at work. Somehow, someone managed to break off this porcelain holder off the wall. It was beautifully covered with Hello Kitty duct tape for months before it was replaced. The guy who replaced the holder didn’t leave enough room for our new ecofriendly toliet paper. Now every time we replace the roll we have to unwind about three or four feet of toliet paper just for the roll to be able to move…I feel like we are working backwards here but that’s just me. 
Alright I’m done bitching about toliet paper. 

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