I lied when I wrote my last post saying I was going to bed. I didn’t end up going to bed at all until 3 maybe 4 in the morning. Thanks, but no thanks to my ex. Now I do not want to put any of the people in my life on blast. They know who they are and they know their role in my life. With that being said I am going to do my best to not use names but use nicknames (or whatever the hell I feel like calling them that day.)
So, my ex decided that he was going to take it upon himself to share a blog post on my Facebook about which astrology signs have the worse break ups.
(Here’s the link to the blog post.)
Now I am semi into astrology not the day to day horoscope bullshit but more the characteristics and meanings behind each sign. So if this had been anyone other than my ex posting this shit on my wall I would not think anything negative of it.
So, obviously I call him out on this behavior. I am not going to let this shit slide. You can’t just drop emotional bombs on my Facebooks and leave. Not today Satan NOT. TODAY. We proceed to get into a FB messaging convo which inevitably leads to a hour long phone conversation.
SIDEBAR: At this point in the evening oh sorry I mean morning, my 5 year old has decided she has to pee and come sleep in my bed. I can’t have this emotional blowout conversation when my precious baby is trying to sleep. Kindergarteners need their beauty sleep. So I slither out of bed and into my daughters room to continue the conversations that HAS to happen RIGHT NOW.
I am all cozied up in my daughters IKEA toddler bed with a Paw Patrol blanket wrapped around my legs ready to get this over with. My ex and I didn’t really have a terrible break-up it wasn’t perfect by any means but it wasn’t as bad as when I left Sophia’s dad (thats a whole different can of worms which I will put a link in here later for that). This ex and I were just on different wavelengths. He was getting his life situated and figuring out who the fuck he was while I on the other hand have my career, myself and my life where I want it…well almost. He lives the lifestyle of staying up until 5 in the morning whereas I go to bed, or at least try to, at a reasonable hour. I am a parent who is not only working damn near full time but also raising a child on her own with no help from the father.
Now I am not going to get into a play by play of the actual conversation because lets be honest you probs don’t care and well it’s sappy and boring. I will say though that it is not wise to have an emotional conversation with an ex at this time of day. Why you say? Oh because I am a worrier, an analyser I do not know how to let things go until I have thought of every possible outcome or change I could have done. This is exactly what I did when I got off the phone at 2:30 a.m. and since my bestie Anna decided to pass out while watching House (this is a nightly event) I figured I would catch some sleep. Not…I got approximently four hours of sleep before my alarm went off at 7 this morning.
I have had three caramel macchiatos from Starbucks just to function properly today. Even with those on board I am still driving the struggle bus. So a nice I CAN’T FUCKING EVEN goes out the the world today via me. Words of advice..just ignore your ex especially if its past midnight. I know someone, somewhere has said nothing good happens after midnight (or maybe thats 3am..whatever) and its true. Hopefully I will get some much needed zzz’s tonight.